The Winding Path
My first visit to LA was in 2016. My partner had just gotten a new job with a company that was headquartered in Santa Monica. He needed to make a trip out for work, and of course, I couldn’t miss the chance to tag along.
From the moment I stepped foot in California I felt … different.
Unbothered. Unburdened. Free.
I had spent my entire life in the South and on the East Coast. I was well acquainted with respectability politics. I was committed to proving myself worthy by making a positive impact in the world and following the expected path (degrees, marriage, climbing the corporate ladder, pursuing financial advancement, etc.).
Can you relate, love?
I had never been to a physical place that made me want to leave all of that behind. But in LA I felt something inside me whisper, “There is a softer way, my dear.”
…
I would visit LA again for the next two summers. Each time I felt more at home in California and less attached to the achievement hustle I’d temporarily left behind.
After taking my youngest sister to LA in 2018 – driving to Malibu, hiking at Griffith Park, and handling those massive highways on my own – I finally built up the courage to ask my partner if we should consider moving. He shared my love for California but was wary of uprooting our lives when we both had jobs and reliable career options in Washington, DC.
The responsible part of me agreed with him, so I let go of the dream. Although I didn’t know it at the time, that was the beginning of my journey on the winding path.
Have you ever noticed how there are hardly any straight lines in nature? Rivers curve and bend their way through the land. Trees tell us their age with perfectly imperfect rings inside of their trunks.
Nature operates in waves, curves, and cycles.
Yet people, not recognizing ourselves as extensions of nature, love straight lines. We like to know the quickest way from point A to point B.
If my partner had agreed to move to LA in 2018, I would have developed a well-researched and meticulously thought-out plan for us. I would have determined the “straight line” between us and the move to LA. I would have wasted countless hours thinking of ways to avoid any unexpected surprises that would take us off of this path, trying to control every single detail.
We would’ve made it to LA, yes, but we would not have enjoyed the process. Nor would we have had the opportunity to grow, both individually and as a couple, the way we have over the last four years.
There was grace in my partner’s “no.” There was grace in God's, “not yet.”
My partner and I easefully moved to California last year, with more support and assistance than I ever expected. We were blessed – and I am so grateful.
The plan God had in mind was much more easeful, but I had to give up control in order to receive it.
…
If I had known God’s plan back in 2018, I absolutely (100%) would have asked for a different path. A quicker path. A linear path. A path that made sense when you looked out ahead, instead of the path I have been on – that often only seems to make sense in hindsight.
Yet as 2022 comes to a close, I find myself giving thanks for the winding path. It allowed me to rest and heal, which gave me years of my life back. It has made me a better partner, friend, sister, and daughter. It reminded me that life is meant for living, laughing, loving, and creating.
The winding path gifted me with memories and moments I will never forget.
So, the next time it feels like you’re taking a step “back” or like God said no to something you deeply wanted…
Pause, breathe, and offer gratitude for the winding path you’ve been placed on. I guarantee that you’ll see and experience miracles on your journey.
And take it from someone who had to learn the hard way, if you just lean into trust a little more each day – you’ll find that your journey can be easeful and joyful.
Sending you love every step of the way.
